You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
please don't ironically join a cult
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