Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
