I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
The feeling are messing with the penis
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
