My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
