i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
