I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
