no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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