Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
