how can u be prego again
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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