As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
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