i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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