I didn't shave. On purpose
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
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