Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
You ate ashes out of my bong
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Randomize
