You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
