I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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