Me too!
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
