You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
