i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Fuck appropriateness.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
