I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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