She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
