You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
