Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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