they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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