happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
