hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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