naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
my poor anus
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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