I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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