a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
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