you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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