If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
