I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
My brain says no but my pants say off.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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