um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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