I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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