Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
