I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
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see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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