she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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