So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
no, he came in my armpit
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
