I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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