Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
try to milk me bitch
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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