found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
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