I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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