Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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