And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
