glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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