Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
