I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize