It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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