i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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