Your face is a jimmy john
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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