Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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