How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
