I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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