end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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