i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
