can we get nightvision for the apartment?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
True college students do jello shots in the library
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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