i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
