Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
