I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
as a side note pls kill me
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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