you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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