david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
