Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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