I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
