hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
